Bumblefish
I was swimming in the warm crystal waters on the south coast of Oaxaca. It is a spot I frequent. The salt water anointed me after a profound release of old emotion that was stirred by a lineage initiation I am deepening into. I noticed this tiny, the size of the tip of my pinky, piece of driftwood, yet the waters were clean that day. No other driftwood debris.
No matter where I swam there was this little tiny fleck of driftwood in my energetic field. I batted it away and it would float back. Why am I so attuned to this piece of driftwood?
At closer look I realized that it was the most incredible little bumble bee striped fish I have ever seen with my naked eye. I slowed to hover in the water and it swam toward my heart. I would push it away a bit to see what it would do and it just kept coming back into the field around my heart. I swam 20 meters one way and then the other and it was still with me. No little fish family it strayed from that I could see. It was just me and bumble fish.
My heart welled with a childlike wonder and iridescent flutters of joy. Little Otto stayed with me the whole time I was in the water and swam with me all the way up to the shore break as I said goodbye.
To be in such deep union and communication with my environment is a gift. Yet, in that moment I realized that there was still an old story of separation living within me. This idea still floated in the tiny bit of debris leftover inside of me from yesterday’s lies. Some delusion that my place here on Earth is benign and one dimensional. A lie that drove me to overcompensate for a perceived lack of magic and lack of impact. An exhaustive overgiving in fear I would not be compensated and supported.
When I committed to my path of service as a healer I unfortunately inherited an inflated idea of my impact that was driven by ego and a lot of societal wounds around receiving and producing. In order or to be taken “seriously” I must have all the followers and thousands of clients and create this huge elaborate program and wow people (blow them over typically) with my power- and I can, I am very powerful when I want to wow, but I don’t know if it is healing.
I have contemplated the question - why isn’t touching one person, one thing enough? And can that path provide what I need to sustain my life?
In the water my heart opened all around that little fish, and its heart, its teeniest tiniest little water drum beating below its bumble gills, opened all around me. Now my vibrational love is swimming along with my little friend in the vast open Ocean. My prayers and my imprint reaching shores beyond my imagining, and that little fish just grew feet by sharing its wondrous love with me. Maybe it had a message for the forest floor, maybe it needed to whisper a message to Moss. How do I know that my ripple carried through bumble fish didn’t touch and maybe even heal an Otter’s wounded paw along the Pacific coast shore somewhere; my kin calling to me from up North. (There is an otter family on the beach that I swim with up in my northern home)
Nature is always waving at us. Always trying to swim into our awareness and wake us up to what we belong with and remind us that magic is more afoot than any trick we have been swindled by. And there are many.
I know we are collectively waking into expanded consciousness. I wonder if nature is doing the same. Of course it is as we don’t evolve as isolated entities- humans and anything else. Yet, human consciousness has a profound impact on every other part of life because within the human psyche lives the power of choice. We can choose where to direct our desires. We choose how our impact is felt. Yet, unfortunately the majority of our impact comes from our subconscious. And the human subconscious is filled with stories of fear and separation.
When you choose to unveil the lies that told you that the simple (not so simple) act of walking as the embodiment of Love is the greatest gift you can give, your life will change.
Your vibration, yes your vibration, matters more to the collective consciousness than anything you can “do”. The field of the heart is in resonance with life inclusivity and Natural Law. When that field is amplified, then our collective begins to return to living by Natural Law and everything thrives.
Which is why not only does your own healing matter, but is fully supported by “invisible” forces that will fill your life with wild synchronicities and magical events that support your path in a way that helps you surrender more and more fear around love. You will know what truly supports you and you will begin to break down industrialized complexes impostering themselves as Life simply by becoming love. No screaming at the wall for all of its wrongness. You dissolve the box by choosing the circle of Life. Most of all you will know you were and are always loved and could never be separate from that love.
When you walk as love, then that is what becomes of your life. Others feel it and are supported into their own remembering and we have a Universal shift in how Life thrives on Earth. We discover that having what we need when we need it, no more and no less is sacred abundance. We would never want more. Any more blocks the omniscient hand that serves you from providing your next breadcrumb that swells into a feast from your tears of gratitude watering the grain, the holy morsel.
There is no more (or there is less) overgiving and no grasping to fill the hole where inherent belonging aches to nest inside of your soul. Most of us overgive and overcompensate and create from a space of scarcity. There can never be healing if any of those are at the base of your offerings.
Embodying Love, moving from the heart is not a nebulous new age light chaser path. It is a direct action away from anything that looks like war. So there is the work. Moving away from anything that is not love is your healing path on a planet where most of our nervous systems are programmed to fight. Fighting is not love. Moving in to help others from a place of love is much different than going to war against anything and expecting a peaceful result.
Your little “insignificant” self grows more arms and helping hands from this posture without doing anything other than healing the wounds that keep you from holding Life’s hand as your guide. Your healing path will draw towards you all you need. And those things you need will show up in seemingly obscure answers to your prayers. Because the heart knows, Love always knows, what you need. Like little fish that feed old fears with magic and remembrance until they soften.
When I let go of grasping at life and and all doubts in this simple truth I heal another corner of the big brick heavy wound in the collective micro biome that blocks our ability to receive our nourishment from Life. And that is more powerful and in more service to the collective than anything I can do. I change my DNA and therefore the collective DNA shifts just a little allowing this truth to become more available for all.
The heart is the strongest embodied force in the Universe. It is the ultimate magnet for all you need, it is your compass and your headlight. Letting it guide you wipes out all lies with its simple is- ness…
That just one bumble fish drop in the Ocean sets in motion a course of events so strong that mountains move and skies rumble themselves into the hearts of the people until all they hear is the first drum beat of Life- a love song.
PS- no matter what you do and where you go or what you choose there is a higher law that always holds that you are loved no matter what and love has always been at your center- why else would you have chosen this most beautiful, wild, painfully profound life? That first choice to be here was your great act of love and healing. Keep walking.