Microdosing, Fear and the Intuitive {Feminine} Body.
“The feminine consciousness is by nature aware that everything is connected. This is a knowledge the feminine has always carried in her body’s centers of creation, where all life emerges and regenerates from. Similarly, in the infinite realms of entheogenic channels, we can witness the threads of our interconnectedness and interdependence.”
~ Maria Papaspyrou
I just finished a course in sexuality and conscious partnership which I will be discussing in the coming weeks. 70 individuals from all over the world, most couples, except the few brave solo self lovers deepening their own inner sanctum of relating to other. You could say that most of us had some sort of a spiritual path under our feet.
Throughout the long 12 hour days of meditating, connecting deeply to our interiority where love and everything that blocks love lives in the blessed healing potential of duality and polarity, and the consistent practice of returning to the heart- I witnessed a deep wound (one of many) that ran through almost everyone…
Fear of being wrong, of going the wrong way, doing the wrong thing. The constant need to have questions answered that were either answered already, or would be if they could take a breath and trust that the container would meet their desire by law of attraction (you have to sit in circles enough to understand this brilliant quantum interplay). Questions they very likely already knew the answer to if they knew how to listen to their deep inner intuition rather than the constant insidious indoctrination of seeking external permission and direction. No one knew how to move about the room without guidance when there was such a clear flow if they were in their bodies- paying attention to the present moment’s natural direction. I see this everywhere.
One woman asked me randomly how to eat- which was very out of context but alas. (Yes, I am the one in every group that people seek out for support- It’s a perfume that wafts off of me). I just looked at her and said “you know how to eat”- you were just trained away from listening to yourself. She cried because she knew it was true and, yet, she resisted me because she was still waiting for, hoping for someone (mommy or daddy) to come along and tell her what to do, and then she would know where to go and she would feel safe and all would be ok. Primal wound. And why we were all sitting in this room together.
This wound lives everywhere in society- the dismembering of intuitive wisdom, of natural direction and self agency that is in alignment with life. Life in its natural rhythm knows exactly what is next, what it needs, what to express and when. That rhythm lives within all of us -in our feminine bodies. The sensorial, intuitive, life inclusive, origin source of all that nourishes, regenerates and directs life. Without this we are lost and become prey for predatory control. We are intentionally patterned from the moment of conception by this insidious, traumatic, epigenetic intrusion to defer our sensibilities to an external source by our current paradigm for this reason.
Nothing can give you permission to live your full potential and guide your life except your creator- by Life itself. When you are guided by this innate compass your life will be supported because you are making decisions aligned with Life’s plan for you. Some will never ever want this. It is way to close to God. It is way to close to Love. It is way to close to the separation wound. That wound is best left festering under all of the distractions and illnesses and pain and severing from the deep heart. And that is ok. We need the duality to push against. Everything has it’s place in the human race.
It’s easier to stay swayed by something outside of us, until it’s not- because the water has dried up and you have been asked to go find more and no one can tell you how or where because those elders are dead, but your life depends on it. So you must, and that means listening to something else entirely to guide you to the one tiny trickle of hope running in the deeps that may just water the garden in your soul and help your real life grow. A rhizomic network under your feet and in the wind rattling the door closed by fear in your heart to help you begin anew again; breathe. And you will be so grateful when your sand paper tongue gets just one drop that you will forever seek the silence and inner peace to hear the deepest current under the noise- forever.
Reclaiming intuitive power is a radical act of self love, and self love is a fundamental pillar for being able to choose, make a move, engage with life so deeply that no matter what lies on the other side of that decision you are able and willing to learn and grow and at every turn know- that there is NO punishment system to tell you that you are wrong. And if you keep trying to hear below the fear and follow this voice you can come to a life of true freedom.
But we must heal the feminine body within us which will help heal the feminine bodies around us and life will begin to restore to balance.
There is s deep hidden belief, sereptitously planted by a broken hand, that if we follow that deep tug of truth we will be led toward banishment, pain, punishment, sin. Sin means to miss the mark. I will tell you- that is already the life we are living when we are not following the path of our intuitive guidance- because we will always be missing the mark and never know the life meant for us packed perfectly into our soul.
It is true that the compassing intuition of feminine wisdom will guide you into places that hold pieces of your healing and that can be where the fear lives because we have also adopted this idea that healing comes by way of fighting something- struggle. It is effort but only because you will be asked to choose new patterns which can upwell deep emotions and inner tension because the old paradigm does not want to die. But the intuitive body guides you toward everything that elevates and heals your life. It will only ask you to follow your joy, your pleasure and the path of desires that are uniquely meant for YOU. Your path. And that is the other brave act of reclaiming and surrender, you did not come here to walk in anyone else’s shoes. You came here to meet Life and what it’s desire for you.
I have not mastered this (yet), very few will in this life because it is what the collective feminine body is healing and reclaiming. But I carry a torch in my womb guiding me with joy, with pleasure, living in the abundant knowing that I will be taken care of.
I have had help for this, for which I am devotionally grateful. The Mother, body of wisdom, basket of medicine, womb of creation- holds bounties to assist this healing. Which is why I have been an advocate for plant medicines for most of my life and am now serving, supporting right relationship with their being and teaching about their invaluable capacity to heal the feminine body.
It is why I created this deeply healing circle that encapsulates these medicines with sacred embodiment practices and transmissions for healing the intuitive feminine body.
Microdosing psychedelic plant entheogens, in my experience, more than other substances, awakens the subtle wild inside the feminine body as these medicines are a direct channel to that which regenerates and creates Life.
Because these medicines are born from the Earth, with their origin in the Mystery, they contain the wisdom of how all of Life, Universal and human, interplays and evolves. That same wisdom lives within the womb of a woman and her extended womb body.
The codes of creation, the story of each soul and every paradigm shift experienced by Mother Earth are alive in the womb- in the feminine wisdom. How to access these codes is the same way one would access them in a relationship with any entheogen: Deep embodied listening, daily reverence, integration of the wisdom given, compassionate witness and love.
Like the seed, like the mycelium spore that fruits forth the mushrooms, plants and trees, the womb contains the blueprints of Universal Life. In that blueprint lives the codes of Sacred Law and how to live a life based in abundant reciprocity.
The entire ancestral landscape lives in the womb and is connected to every other womb. Like the mycelial network connects the understory of life on this planet. Every womb, like every fruiting body, has a subtle, sliver of the moon, distinction from the other which is where the unique expression of one’s individual soul births forth. And, like the mycelial network, that one unique thread is interdependent for its thriving.
The sub-sensorial, subtle, femtheogenic nature of microdosing is the seed popping below ground, is light as a feather falling from the sky, is the princess and the pea. Attuning to these subtleties enhances one's intuitive listening, faith in gut instinct and anecdotal experience as a guiding light. This is the feminine essence. Often not known, working behind the scenes in undetected ways, like the daily wax or wane of the moon- undetected, until all of sudden She is full or She is hiding in a blanket of dark night sky.
Our gifts, our juicy, ripe, fruiting bodies are not meant to live as isolated events. None of us. Nothing in the natural world lives as an isolated event. They are meant to enhance and entice the evolution of Life into more ecstatically beautiful forms. This happens through embodied alignment with what regenerates and sustains evolution of Life in step with Sacred/Natural Law. This can only happen by sifting through the crash pile of voices barricading the intuitive body, and the still, small voice of the womb. Microdosing greatly assists this sorting through and the reclaiming.
It is a birthright to discover our creative force and our Creator’s Source. It is an oath we took to know the codes of how life was made so we could tend it, beginning with our own. We chose to embody a womb in this life, and when the feminine is attuned to these subtle life codes and guides her life from that place- all of life falls into balance.
That subtle power is accessible to all living things through the Universal Womb Body We access it by healing our feminine bodies, by accessing our androgynous nature. It is dominant in the water bearers, the life givers, the blood shedders- which is why women healing their wombs is a right of passage for society and restoration of true power.
Do you have questions about Microdosing, the feminine body, something random that sits on your heart at night?
For another month the Q&A that is for paid subscribers only is open to everyone.